ec “light” – or – infant potty training for the lazy mother

If it’s happened two days in a row, it’s still just a coincidence, right? Check with me tomorrow to see if we go for three times and therefore a pattern.

Faithful readers know that I read The Book, that my wrists were to weak after the birth to really hold him over anything (this article blames improper hand positioning but in my case the specialist I saw said the root was fluid retention caused by breastfeeding hormones) and that the best we could do, most of the time, was to keep a close watch on his face and body between and during diapering sessions to note what his “cues” were (faces and sounds he makes, physical postures) and say “psssssssssss” while he was peeing on the changing table. There were a few “catches” — when out of keen observation of his cues, a vague awareness of his timing and/or sheer luck, combined with quick reflexes on our part, he would actually “eliminate” in the toilet, baby bjorn potty, or the sink. (Maybe 5 times since he was born?)

We also maintained a talk-about-it-a-lot policy. Whenever we see him making The Face, and whenever he’s in the bathroom with us while we’re on the toilet, it’s potty this and potty that, this is where the poo poo goes. You know.

Real EC parents do much much more. They dress their babies in special split leg pants, they institute diaper free times to observe the cues while elimination occurs on a wet-friendly blanket, they let babies roam diaper free throughout the home — it’s a lot faster to get a kid from semi or completely naked onto a potty when the cues show up that way. They adhere to heroic timing schedules, putting baby on the potty before and after every feeding, diaper change, bath, and basically every 20 minutes all day, and wake the baby to potty him or her throughout the night. For some, EC means Diaper-Free ALL THE TIME. And that takes A LOT of work.

In a classic she-said she-said, my mother-in-law recently informed me that babies are not neurologically ready to potty train until 24 months. While my mother, recently observing Jonah’s new favorite game of putting things into and taking things out of other things, declared that this is a sign that he’s ready to potty train.

Maybe they’re both right? Expecting a child to be able to “hold it” might be something that only comes at or after 24 months. But getting the idea that certain “things” go in other certain “things”…

Yesterday, during breakfast, I noticed the boy making The Face. I said something about it and as usual (of late) he shook his head, waved his arms — No no no, nothing going on here, nothing to see, or G-d forbid, do.

So after breakfast we went for the diaper change, but hey, not really anything in the diaper. So I put him on the bjorn potty, and I tried something new.

I sat facing him on the floor. I made exaggerated versions of the face he makes, I held my breath, puffed out my cheeks, clenched my tummy muscles till my face turned pink. Then I let it all go, popped my eyes wide, and said “Poop!”

He thought this was hysterical.

So we sat there for a while, making the faces, blowing horselippy pppppththhhs and saying “Poop!” to each other and laughing.

When I lifted him off the potty. The deed had been done.

I went crazy (as appropriate to such an occassion), dancing him around, saying “Yay Jonah!” and clapping.

I called Scott at work to tell him. No, I didn’t take a picture this time. And no, I’m not going to blog about it.

Good, Scott said. He’ll thank you when he’s a teenager.

So, this morning, during breakfast, I noticed that he was making The Face again. He waved my attention away. No no no, nothing here to see.

After breakfast, we did the same routine again. Check first: confirm empty diaper. Get on the potty “together” and make the faces and sounds, say the word (although he doesn’t talk when he’s, um… working).

And right after a long wordless minute, he said “Yay, yayuh!” and clapped his hands. I lifted him up and sure enough, payday!

He’s amazing.

And I’m blogging about it. (Sorry, teenage Jonah!)

I hope that our half-*ssed haphazard methods inspire another mom like me who has been interested in infant potty training but daunted by the literature and zealots to give EC just a little bit of a try, if you want to.

I never really intended to reduce our load on the landfill (would be nice, but waaaaay too high of an expectation to put on myself). I loved the idea of diaper-free and infant self-possession but couldn’t handle the rigor.

I’m pretty excited by what seems to be a little early potty training, that seems to make him happy too, and that keeps him from sitting in his own poop for a few hours on a certain day.

Does it mean he’ll be out of diapers before 37 months (the national average for boys)? Who knows? I guess I hope that we’re teaching him something now that will help us all later. I think our job is to keep it fun, light, casual. Not make an issue out of it.

About an hour after the big event today, he looked at me and said “Poop! Pah-yee.” And I said “Poop in the potty?” and he laughed (which means yes) and started crawling to the bathroom. And I said “Again?” doubtful that there was more where the first came from so soon. After we got into the bathroom, and I undressed him and put him on the potty, he was all fussing and fighting. No no no. Waving his arms madly, shaking his head.

I apologized, re-dressed him.

I think maybe that time he was just making conversation with me? Reminiscing. Remember how fun that was this morning, Mama? Poopoo in the potty? That was great. Let’s go look at where it happened.

So we’ll both be continuing to work on our cues. And communication.