Once again, I’ve been foiled by hope. I really need to stop expecting things to change on a schedule. Certainly it feels like an accomplishment to have gotten this far. 12 weeks, woo hoo!
But as it always happens, as soon as I hit what seems like it should be a milestone of some kind, someone dangles another carrot (not to mix my metaphors but I am).
I thought his fussiness might suddenly melt away at this point. But not yet.
The very same friend who seemed so happy that her daughter had reached 12 weeks a while back (and gave me said hope — though others of you are equally responsible), sat on my couch today and promised me it really turns around at four months. Sigh.
Not that I’m complaining. The boy is great. He smiles, he laughs, he makes these totally cool noises, he kicks and wiggles, he finds light fixtures infinitely fascinating. But, well, he’s still fussy. A lot. And once or twice a day he cries that inconsolable cry that makes me cry with him. The terror of not being able to soothe him just knocks me over.
That’s not entirely his fault, of course. I’m the one on a shaky footing. But I am back in touch with my psychic chiropractor and as ridiculous as this makes me sound, the fact is I talked to her tonight and among other wonderful adjustments, she’s going to balance my hormones, which should help with the footing. Thank you.
In a way, I was glad to be out of touch with her because I could pretend to you all that I’m not as nutty as I am. But I am that. Nutty.
On her advice, I’ll also be dropping a few other foods from my diet for a while (wheat, gluten, corn). These changes may help the boy with his gas and skin sensitivities too. We’ll see.
He’s got this rash on his neck — I think it’s from all the spit-up pooling in the folds. Today I decided to put the zinc diaper cream on it. Because it is the same as what would be on his butt, a moisture reaction, right? Seems to soothe him. Butoh baby.
I was getting frustrated today about his naps currently being so short — often 30 minutes almost on the dot. But same friend assured me that his naps will organize better, be longer and less frequent, in another month or so. In fact, she says most of the things we worry about trying to govern or control (sleep schedule, feeding schedule) settle out on their own over time. Which is interesting to hear because so far, I’ve done very little to enforce any schedule on the boy; mainly I’ve been following his lead.
This friend is also however obsessively reading the sleep books, so there we are.
I concur with your friend. Most things you worry about now will settle themselves with time. And new babies, they are just fussy sometimes, and while it doesn’t feel like that now, it won’t be forever. It gets easier, I promise. And it’s okay to complain, it doesn’t mean you aren’t grateful. And I’ll stop giving advice now, as I don’t know you a bit.
Thanks for stopping by my place.
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Congrats on 12 weeks!
I think schedules are hard at that age — babies are growing and changing so fast that about the time you settle into a pattern they are ready to move on. I found that hard to deal with at times because there was a part of me that wanted a child on a schedule, something predictable that I could cling to. But then my son’s needs would change and I would have to adapt (change wasn’t one of my strong suits). It does get easier though — and as you realize, there’s not necessarily a magic moment when it does. And one of these days, you’ll look back and marvel at how you got through it all. Really.
And I remember those 30 minute naps. I tried to encourage longer naps or at least more rest but that plan didn’t always work out. And eventually, yes, the naps do get longer and less frequent. I think your friend has a point about things working themselves out. It just doesn’t always happen as quickly as (or perhaps the way) we would like.
Hey Joy! I’ll take that advice, thank you. Words of encouragement from the Internets have been helping me survive this early crazy (dare I say chaotic?) time.
And thank you too, Leanne. Everything you said. Exactly!
Things do eventually settle themselves out as everyone is saying. Sometimes it happens so gradually you don’t even notice. I always say some things get easier and others more difficult. That’s just parenting.
This is me just giving you a heads up on teething. My first just fussed for the first few teeth he got, but my second child would fuss at every new tooth. I can’t say I blame him since it seems he kept getting one after another, and by the time he reached one had about twice as many teeth as other toddlers his age.
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Oh man, I remember my girlie’s rash around her neck. She had about five chubby neck folds and there was always a gross milk ring around each of them. The tricky part was finding and cleaning them all
No worries on venting about the hard parts of these early weeks, I really get relief from realizing there are other Mommies our there dealing with the same issues I am. Here’s wishing you and the boy a great gurgly and smiley day!
I have been continually amazed by the fact that the stuff I constantly worried about (I am a big worrier)–sleeping, feeding, teething, and now as a toddler, behavior issues–have all just disppeared and resolved themselves. So much so that I forget that I even worried about it, until I look back at journals, blogs, etc. Of course, they have been replaced by new things for me to worry about. But still, the point is, things do get better and work themselves out. Sounds like you are doing all the right things by just listening to your baby.
Kate’s last blog post..Bless You, Will
Teething? Noooooooooo! Ha ha. This is such an amazing journey really. Thanks Susie (you’ll see I took the invitation to vent in the Eclipsed post seriously :+) ). Amen, Kate!
I can totally relate…my daughter’s 9 weeks old and still not napping on anything resembling a schedule. From reading way too many sleep books I agree with your friend – napping will resolve itself. My kid also has the sexy and sexy-smelling neck rash. Yum.
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