where do you go to relax?

I’m currently hiding out in a Whole Foods.  I’ve been here since 2:15. Escaped the house while the boy was napping and the nanny in effect.

Grocery shopping is so astonishingly relaxing for me. Some days, when Jonah is fussy, I’ll bring both of us here just for the change of pace, entertainment value. He loves riding in a carrier on me or in the cart, noshing on fruit, staring at the lights hanging down from the high warehouse ceilings. He’ll be so quietly content, I can forget he’s even with me. Suddenly, I’ll look down at him. Mentally apologize for my mental absence.

But I still can’t totally focus on shopping when he’s with me.

Today I bought spices, jam, wipes, formula, maple syrup, bath ducks, fizzy water, bread, cheese, eggs, goat butter, tortillas, water crackers, dried apricots, baby echinacea syrup, and a snack of macaroni and cheese and sauteed Brussels sprouts and ginger ale. For $164.40.

That’s some pretty expensive retail therapy.

I planned to work, using the wireless internet here. But I’ve not been working much. I’ve been surfing the internet mostly. Enjoying this extended moment of not being needed, even as I feel the milk pooling in my mammaries.

The truth is, I’m fried. Jonah’s being sick, nursing for hours, being cranky, and my not getting enough sleep through no fault of his but only my own, and then Scott and I continually working on cutting down our 2009 budget and the economy completely falling apart. You know.

But for the moment Fleetwood Mac is pitterpattering down from the speakers overhead, the Odwalla refrigerator is providing a nice vibrating thrum, this metal chair is surprisingly comfortable. I have about 30 minutes before I need to go home, nurse Jonah, start cooking dinner. Maybe I’ll get something done yet?