I meant to but never reported exactly when we realized the pacifier had faded away. I think it was around eight months or soon thereafter because I know he wasn’t taking it during that second round of sleep (re)training.
It just sort of happened. For a long time, we always had a pacifier for him. His natural rubber one on the wooden-beaded keeper was my favorite Ergo accessory. We were buying pacifiers, losing pacifiers, finding small herds of them huddled in corners behind the crib, under the couches, losing them again.
And then it was over.
Many people had suggested I start Jonah on formula before one year (so I could get some MUCH needed sleep) and I bought and returned several cans during that time. I never had the sense that my supply was all that great and pumping was always a problem (I drank SO FREAKING MUCH fennel/fenugreek tea!) and I feared that formula would lessen my supply.
And then he turned one.
I was surpised that although my child has been practically a nursing olympian in frequency and duration, I wasn’t necessarily ready to wean. I reset my mental expectation for two years.
But I did start giving him formula. Why? A) Just. Can’t. Pump. Anymore. B) Seemed like a natural adjunct to solid food. C) I finally decided my concerns about my milk supply were real. This kid, so hungry from the get-go, needed more milk. D) My boops are tired.
He took to formula, and later milk, very quickly. He also started sleeping better — which may be due to the iron supplementation in formula according to some.
At first, I was still nursing at least six times a day or more. Hardly a decrease.
And then some freelance jobs started rolling in. Clients needing me to work onsite. I started trying to be more conscious of his nursing times. Without my doing much, over the last two weeks he was reducing his feeding session, down to about three periods per day (waking up, around naptime, bedtime). Still, if I was around, some days he’d nurse more often than that.
He’s still nursing for a fair amount of time in the morning when he wakes up, and nursing himself to sleep at night most of the time. But otherwise, he’s saying “Boop,” or “Nurse” and then not staying on for long at all. Practically a suck or two and then he’s off again, playing, doing something else. Like he was just checking to make sure he COULD have it if he WANTED to. Plus he’s having bottles in the morning and at night just after and just before, further indicating that nursing is more for comfort than food these days.
I’d been warned that introducing formula was a slippery slope.
My hormones and milk supply are decreasing. I am sad. And relieved. And aware that it’s not over till it’s over. I think we’ll be keeping the wake-up and bedtime sessions for a while yet. He could Bring Nursing Back in response to a round of teething I’m guessing. It’s just that he seems to be wrapping things up. Ready to move on. Places to go, people to see, stuffed animals to rub noses with. You know.
I feel like I’m leaving it up to him, but it also feels like a collaboration. Dare I say we might both be ready?
Stay tuned…
Hey that’s great. I think it often does happen like that. I know I was down to one feed a day by the time mine were walking which was when I said I would wean (just first thing in the morning).
Why do you use bottles though? Was intrigued by that. I had an aversion to bottles, mostly because I never liked seeing children walking around with them I suppose and went straight onto open topped cups. My children always coped fine with them and it taught them from an early stage that drinking is something we do sitting down, not standing up or lying down!!! I suppose I also felt that you then have the further job of weaning them off bottles at a later date.
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Wow, your post brought back my flood of feelings from the weaning process!
When I introduced whole milk to my daughter at one she started preferring that to nursing. I thought we’d keep the morning, before nap, and bed time nurse sessions going and it turned out that we only did a bit in the morning. It was a strange thing, one day it was 30 seconds and another it might be 2 minutes. And it was only on one side–her “favorite” one.
At thanksgiving while visiting my parents they would nicely take the girlie to play when she woke up and let hubby and I sleep in. Sigh
After a few days I realized she hadn’t nursed and she hadn’t seemed to miss it.
I still miss it. I think it’s due to having a little one that doesn’t-ever-sit-still!! I miss our snuggle time and I’m hoping when she’s a bit older she’ll love snuggling up to Mom.
Overall, I’m happy that it ended on her terms and slowly. Had it been an automatic stop I would have probably had a harder time with it all. I was proud to have given her 17 months of breastfeeding.
I hope your process if that’s what’s starting to happen goes smoothly for you and Jonah. Sorry for the long comment, it just brought back some nice memories and emotions.
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Susie: Thank you for the long comment! I so related to your story. Jonah’s never been much of a snuggler and he’s always on the move… Wow, you made it to 17 months. I hope we hang on that long!
RB: I totally understand the aversion!
I became habituated to bottles because I was pumping while nursing so it seemed like the easiest way to transition him to other types of milk (and was kind of automatic for me). I don’t let him waddle around with it. He usually has it in his high chair, in his stroller, or in our laps. I don’t leave him in the crib with one, though his caregivers have a couple of times. I do fear that we’ll have to work hard to wean him from it later but maybe that will be less trouble than we think? He also likes to drink out of open top cups, and cups with straws, and regular water/juice bottles, and from sippy cups with hard plastic nubs.
I have more of a problem letting him crawl around with bits of food. Choking hazard! Ack!
Mine weaned at 16 and 15 mo., respectively, in a process that sounds similar to yours. When they hit 1 yr I gleefully kicked the pump to the curb and they got milk whenever I wasn’t around. So within, I don’t know, a month or so we were down to 2 nursings/day (last thing at night, first thing in a.m.) Then the nighttime one slipped away somehow and finally the early a.m. one did too. It was pretty easy and gentle for all of us. Good luck!
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Ah I see that makes perfect sense. I never went in for expressing milk much and when I did used to use a cup even when they were tiny.
But yes, the crawling around with food – I remember it well!!!
I think as long as they can use cups you won’t have a problem. I have watched children joining playgroup at 3 years old who cannot drink from a cup – they tip the drink down their fronts!!!
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