This weekend, despite the fact that we HAD NOT budgeted for such an event to occur (and now that we have a fancy Financial Counselor whom we have to report to every two weeks, this is no small thing) — we went on a date.
A real date, to a movie, with dinner beforehand. And a babysitter.
The night went well. Jonah fell asleep by 7:15. We were out the door right after. Called to check in at 8:15, before the movie started. Everything was fine.
Called after the movie to say we were on our way home. Cell phone rang but no answer. I tried to remain calm as we paid for parking, got into the car, headed home. A 10-15 minute drive.
Called again. No answer. Waited. Called again. Tried calling the neighbor — just to ask if maybe the lights were in fact on at our house and could she perhaps go knock on the door. Red lights seemed inumerable and interminable.
Tried calling the land line. Not that she would answer our phone. Called her cell again.
Part of me knew it was probably nothing. That she was probably asleep on the couch. Part of me was trying to imagine scenarios. She’s with him while he’s crying right now? She’s on the front steps with a boyfriend and left her phone inside? The ringer’s turned off? They’re at the hospital?
Part of me was thinking of the list of people I would kill, starting with the babysitter, her parents, if ANYTHING happened to my baby.
I flipped the smooth silvery cell phone over and over in my hand as Scott drove. Took deep breaths, made slightly pinched humming sounds, meant to release the tension in my chest, my head.
Of course the lights were on. Of course she was asleep on the couch. The TV was on, rather loud. The baby monitor, on top of the TV was flashing red and beeping because the battery had run down. The cell phone was next to her, on the floor. It took a verrry vigorous shake to wake the sleeping teen.
I’m. Not. Pleased. Is it normal for a babysitter to fall asleep? Isn’t it HER JOB to stay awake while the baby sleeps, in case HE wakes up and needs her?
Humph.
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O’s:
The boy is now eating the organic health-food equivalent of Cheerios. Go pincer grasp! Of course, he’d already been using the grasp on pieces of cheese. He has an inordinate love for cheese. Wonder where he got that from? (Glances at ceiling, twiddles thumbs, whistling…)
In general, babysitters are indeed expected to be pretty much awake, or at least easily awakened, unless the parents are out until past midnight… Falling asleep isn’t the end of the world, but not being able to answer the phone, and not noticing the parents coming in – needing a shake to wake up – that’s extreme. I never heard of that and never acted like that as a teen babysitter.
I think it’s reasonable to want the sitter to be able to respond to, for instance, the smoke alarm, the telephone, and of course a squawk from the baby monitor. Falling asleep in of itself is not horrible. This circumstance seems different than just dropping off a little.
I wouldn’t be happy with her falling asleep, either.
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I think I occasionally fell asleep as a teen babysitter. In fact I did all kinds of things I wouldn’t approve of in a babysitter now (letting the kids watch MTV; eating all the cookies/hot dogs/chips; spending an hour on the phone with my friend with reckless disregard for parents who might be calling in). I was pretty irresponsible but everyone survived. That said, as an adult, I’m horrified by my own example and certainly would’ve fired myself and hired someone older.
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I babysit and I have had some parents tell me, “Go ahead and fall asleep, we won’t be home till ___ am.” The difference here is they will be out very, very late and they expressly gave me permission. I would never fall asleep with the TV on, and the baby monitor and phone is ALWAYS next to me with the volumes all the way up.
I definitely feel it depends on the family and the situation, and if I were in your shoes, I’d feel upset too.
I fell asleep all the time as a babysitter. Do you stay awake all night in case he wakes up and needs you?
He was fine, nothing was wrong and if you are going to come home after 10:00 at night you can’t EXPECT that a teenager will always stay awake especially if you did not explicitly tell her that you wanted her to do so.
I’m with Alison and Leila. A light sleep is no problem. It’s the fact that the phone, while next to her head, did not wake her up even though I called it four times, and the beeping monitor didn’t wake her, and I practically couldn’t.
As to Heather’s comment, of course, we sleep when he does, but we do wake up when we hear the monitor go off.
Laura — Me too. The poor girl. We don’t have any good snacks here at all. She made herself a salad.
1) That’s a crap babysitter. A phone should wake anyone up! Get one like ours – Perky with intentional capital P. Spends the whole evening online, awake, avoiding internet porn as instructed.
2) What brand are your fake cheerios? I bought some made with ancient grains that are hard as rocks, so Megan can’t go near them unless I pre-suck them for her.
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