i surrender

I surrender to spending whole days in bed with an infant attached to my boob while I circle the TV channel spectrum on my remote.

I surrender to reruns of TV shows I never wanted to watch in the first place.

I surrender my idea that I could be the mom that always responds immediately, knowingly, accurately when my baby cries.

I surrender to letting my baby just cry sometimes so I can get my meal made, go to the bathroom, etc.

I surrender to my baby’s erratic, demanding, everlong nursing schedule or lack thereof.

I surrender to impossibly frequent and continuous diaper changing.

I surrender to being tired, being bitchy, being less than cheerful to friends and fam, on occasion.

I surrender to being often moved to blog when I’m feeling like complaining.

I surrender to finding out I don’t know the answer to something about the baby just after I’ve decided I’ve figured out the answer.

I surrender to not using every moment that he’s sleeping to get something done around the house.

I surrender, and actually, I find that this is pretty darn nice, especially the part where he falls asleep on my chest, all warm and small and soft, like a kitten. Well, a kitten that spits up occasionally, but still.