babycare class: 3-1/2 hearts

Can’t give it a full five hearts, equivalent to a flat-out “I heart” since the class is four hours long (too long!) on each of two successive Sundays, in that fluorescently-lit room where we took Infant CPR last week. Actually, I think I’m a little burned out on all these classes. Then again, they are terribly useful.

This first session, we covered diapering — cloth and disposable, as well as bathing, and soothing. Interestingly, much of the stuff I’ve only heard about in an oblique manner is, according to the teacher, backed up by scientific studies. For example, she said, you can’t spoil a child if you respond to their crying, up to about 6 months old. At that point (on average), the child will start to put together cause and effect and will “learn” to cry to get attention. Before then, they’re just hungry, or overstimulated. The trick is to notice the point when they’ve become manipulative and change tactics. Unfortunately, I don’t recall that she really had any advice for what the new tactic should be. That must be another class.

Interestingly, the teacher, who is a retired Labor and Delivery nurse, had just seen a TV news story about all of the dangerous chemicals in disposable diapers. When she handed out the Pampers for us to practice with, which had a strong “baby” fragrance (ugh!) I asked her if these are the diapers we will receive at our birth.

“Yes,” she said, “because that’s who has the contract with the hospital now. The nurses were all much happier when we had Huggies, which were fragrance-free.”

Tonight, at home, I tried to find the news report she’d seen, but can’t seem to locate a video online. There are many websites that talk about the dangers of dioxin and other chemicals in regular commercial diaper brands — all of which are not in the Seventh Generation or Whole Foods generic diapers or the new sensation, the flushable, biodegradable gDiapers. However, there is controversy over the gel used in ALL of these eco-diapers, as well as in the popular brands.

While some sites list many toxic issues associated with the gel, the green diaper brands boast that the very same gel is non-toxic, with over 400 studies to support this.

So who is right? Am now going to get Tushies, because those don’t use gel — as my disposable alternative in case I can’t get the hang of, or can’t make a decision about which kind of cloth diapers to purchase, rent, use. (Here’s a pretty balanced article on the subject, which also addresses impact on the environment of disposables vs. cloth.)

Anyway, teacher got points for awareness in my book.

We also discussed how to pick a pediatrician, a topic I thought I didn’t want to hear about, and yet, I’ve still been on the fence about which pediatrician to pick, even though I’d done the research, and believed I’d found a solution — at least one that sounded nice from a story-telling perspective.

But I hadn’t felt settled. As the teacher went around the room, asking each person where they were in their search, she offered her rather strong opinions about their choices.

So when it got to me, I offered up the names of the three I’d been considering, and a fourth (who is Harvard-trained and expresses an interest in holistic medicine in her bio on her website, but sadly doesn’t take my insurance).

She gave an enthusiastic three-thumbs up to my new idea, the guy from the first pediatrician meet-and-greet.

What?

After waffling between the gentle doc whose stethoscope was ringed with koalas (too soft), and the Harvard doc who made me nervous with her sharp, didactic style (too hard), I’d been thinking I’d go back to the first guy after all, the one who’d seemed competent and sensible, and whose office was gorgeous and calm, but whom I hadn’t really talked to because the meet-and-greet was very crowded, and I was tired, and my blood sugar was low.

The thing is, after I wrote all those reports on parenting.com, I met with koala doc again at her brown bag lunch and asked her about how to spread out vaccines, and she’d said that I’d need to read up on it and decide. While her collaborative approach was a selling point at first, I realized in that conversation that I need more guidance than she would offer. When I called the sharp Harvard doc’s office to ask my follow-up question about vaccines, it took about three days to get a response, and still I felt uncomfortable, like I was breaking a rule; this doctor is not collaborative enough.

I took the question to the psychic chiropractor for an arm test. When I was first deciding between the soft and hard docs, the arm had suggested the hard doc, because, the PC explained, I need more guidance from a pediatrician. To which I’d thought harrumph, and then after these later experiences, I thought, well, okay, yes.

When I’d started thinking, after still not feeling settled, that maybe that first guy was the best after all, I re-asked the arm. This time, I got a ‘yes, this option is the best.’ Which of course, I would check out in real life too.

(I suppose I could just get a Magic 8 Ball, but I like having a human involved in the responses, however unscientific this may seem, and however much you, dear reader, doubt my sanity every time I admit to doing this…)

So, this past week, I called his office and asked my vaccines-spread-out question. The advice nurse took my call right away (no leaving message, no waiting for return call) and informed me in a very cheery and reassuring voice that there are vaccines we can postpone, and the doc will help me sort that out. PHEW! And then I asked her how he felt about alternative medicine, and she said she thought he was fine with that. She encouraged me to come to the next meet-and-greet, which is a week from tomorrow, to ask my questions in person.

It felt just right.

That, plus the arm’s and the teacher’s enthusiastic endorsements, have had me feeling pretty good about this latest turn in my decision-making process. And if I haven’t given birth by the 13th, I’ll be able to confirm or deny these intuitions, opinions, and prognostications by attending another in-person meeting — with a better blood-sugar level than previous.