When Julie invited me to be part of her “post-birth blogging team,” how could I refuse? Even if the topic, “The calm before…” rather terrified me.
See, it’s been 4+ years since that fateful day when our lives changed forever… when our delightful baby boy entered our lives. And honestly? I feel like I barely remember what life was like before… let alone having material to write a WHOLE POST about it!
But hey, I’m already three paragraphs in, so how hard can it be?
(Bad jen, BAD)
Ok, seriously…
Having a baby. More specifically, the days before having a baby. Wow. When I think back to that hazy time in my life, all I remember is the MAGIC.
Row upon row of neatly folded tiny pastel washcloths. A brand-shiny-new crib filled with unbearably soft and sweet stuffed animals. Dear, sweet, tiny pajamas and onesies and OH the tiny diapers!
Sitting in the new rocking chair, listening to a lullaby CD, clutching a teddy bear to my massive belly, and reading book after book after BOOK on child birth, breastfeeding, and parenting.
Packing my bag for the hospital. And then checking it, again and again and again…
Was that a contraction?!
Mmmm, it’s hard to say. Maybe it was gas pains. Maybe it wasn’t. HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I spent the days before CJ in the following ways:
1) folding things, and then refolding them.
2) reading books
3) thinking I was in labor
4) searching the internet to find out how to KNOW if you’re in labor
5) talking to everyone around me about whether or not I was in labor
6) lying awake WONDERING if I was in labor.
Is it just me? Or is it awfully hard to KNOW whether or not you’re in labor?
I think I might be… but then… maybe not.
But still, that time was magical. Like the night before Christmas, times a THOUSAND.
The waiting. The dreaming. The nearness… it’s almost too much to bear.
There are days I long for that magic. For the newness. For the not knowing.
But mostly I just long for more sleep.
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