So far, Scott had been doing most of the calming duties. Hearing him sing folk songs full voice has been one of the highlights of these, a-hem, rather challenging first three weeks.
Last night at god-knows-what-o’clock a.m., it was my turn. “Sing to him!” Scott said, encouragingly.
It makes no sense — I have a freaking master’s degree in performance art and about 15 years’ experience performing and even teaching improv theater, and yet… “I’m embarrassed.” I said.
Sing something? What?
I used to love to sing. Was never very good at it. I used to sing in the car, to the radio/tape, A LOT. My high school friends admitted that they tried to pick tapes I didn’t know, to avoid my chorale.
In later years, I used to frequent a piano bar in my neighborhood where they had song books and microphones and barstools around the piano and patrons all take turns picking songs and soloing, and throwing dollar bills in the big brandy glass in the middle.
I was in chorus in grammar school. I watched My Fair Lady over and over again and learned almost all the songs. I learned to play guitar (badly!) in high school, and sang songs I’d sung at summer camp, interspersed with the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Cat Stevens… I loved making up songs in improv classes and shows. Will still love to, when I get back on stage.
But sing to my newborn, in front of my husband, in the wee hours of the morning? I froze.
I left the bedroom, went out into the hall. For the life of me, I couldn’t think of a single song. I went into the nursery, sat in glider chair, rocking and jiggling swaddled-screaming-boy.
And then I thought of one. A song I’d loved from summer camp, the very first song I learned on guitar — C G and D chords being the only requirements.
Nibblin’ on sponge cake / watchin’ the sun bake / all of those tourists / covered in oil…
I remembered all the words, and even repeated the chorus with a flourish for the finish.
What else… what else?
And then, I remembered another song:
Oh we had a little party down in Newport / There was Harry, there was Mary, there was Grace / Oh we had a little party down in Newport / And we had to carry Harry from the place…
Yes, folks. I sang Margaritaville, and the Cal Drinking Song to my baby boy. These are the first songs my sleep deprived crying-addled brain came up with in a crunch.
I’m pretty sure I can remember some of the other songs I used to know. Maybe with more sleep and a refresher glance at the lyrics. Next crying jag I’ll try to get back those My Fair Lady ditties.
I could have danced all night / I could have danced all night / and still have begged for more…
When all else fails, go for the alphabet song (although I have honestly had times when I forgot which letter came next–sleep deprivation is a nasty thing).
I came home yesterday to a package on my doorstep with a cool mug to enjoy hot chocolate on our (lately) very cold and snowy days! Thanks!
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a few years ago when I was giving my niece a much needed break from a baby boy who cried 24-7, and did not seem to like any of the lullaby style songs that were old standards, I found myself singing synagogue songs (desperation and prayers?!!!) ….and he quieted and slept. Who knew!!!
Yeah. I can’t sing either. My four year old tells me to stop when I do start. I don’t sing, but I hum a lot. I hum songs I know and make up others. Sometimes I will sing in Spanish since I find it easier, and no one here knows what the heck I’m trying to sing anyways.
NoMasNinos’s last blog post..Buyer’s Remorse
May I just add, singing the same song over and over again also seemed to help with our guys. “The Ants Go Marching One by One…” was B’s favorite and still settles him down to sleep.
Gripe water was my staple with K. Sorry I didn’t think to mention that to you before. Give it to him before you feed him.
Also, doing all of the S’s they talk about in “Happiest Baby on the Block”–swaddling, shushing (spelling?), sucking (on a pacifier), shaking (or rocking) and swinging. Did I get them all? Anyway, doing them all at once! was the trick. K didn’t take the pacifier at first. We thought she didn’t like it. Then, my cousin came out from back east and just stuck that thing in her mouth all day and held her up to his chest to keep it in–it worked! And the last thing, make sure you swaddle him up super tight. Think “burrito baby”.
Hope that helps! You guys are doing great. This can be a rough, rough time, but you’ll make it through
Calm mama,
There was a listing on a Glen Park (SF) parents listserve this morning for free postpartum doula services if you’re interested (a post-training community service thing, apparently).
Email me if you want the info:
jane@bahiker.com
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Keep singing!
Sing anything and everything!
I sang the same five or so songs for all of Orlando’s first years. I also did some chanting I learned in yoga class.
Lately, I’ve been making up little songs to help us through transitions (he’s four now). I feel so cheesy, but my son really responds well to them, and even sings back to me sometimes.
So, consider this the warm-up to many years of wonderful singing with this new one in your life!
I am thinking of you guys as you go through this challenging time. You and Scott are doing beautifully!
I wish you many blessings, and peaceful, tune-filled nights.
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