Comments on: the sleep consultant (a.k.a. in which my ego is bruised for the betterment of sleep-kind) http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/ Wed, 01 Sep 2010 02:19:12 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Music Classes http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2759 Music Classes Mon, 20 Jul 2009 00:49:25 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2759 I had to laugh about the name of your blog. When I was pregnant, I could hardy imagine what I would do with myself at home for six whole weeks! I thought I'd be bored out of my mind. So I started a quilt. Well, you know what happened then. The baby was born and I was busy (or sleeping) every minute. I finished the quilt when he was three. Anyway, on to the sleep issue. My mom taught me about the routine thing, and it can really be a lifesaver. As the kids got older some things changed, like they read to themselves instead of parents reading to them, but the routine still exists. When a kid is sick or stressed, the familiar routine helps them wind back down. I had to laugh about the name of your blog. When I was pregnant, I could hardy imagine what I would do with myself at home for six whole weeks! I thought I’d be bored out of my mind. So I started a quilt. Well, you know what happened then. The baby was born and I was busy (or sleeping) every minute. I finished the quilt when he was three.

Anyway, on to the sleep issue. My mom taught me about the routine thing, and it can really be a lifesaver. As the kids got older some things changed, like they read to themselves instead of parents reading to them, but the routine still exists. When a kid is sick or stressed, the familiar routine helps them wind back down.

]]> By: Elina http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2757 Elina Sun, 19 Jul 2009 13:40:15 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2757 Julie, you are awesome and I love you. <em>Elina's last blog post..<a href='http://laszloslife.blogspot.com/2009/07/marvelous-little-sounds.html' rel="nofollow">Marvelous Little Sounds</a></em> Julie, you are awesome and I love you.

Elina’s last blog post..Marvelous Little Sounds

]]> By: Leila Abu-Saba http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2751 Leila Abu-Saba Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:02:49 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2751 Choices - well you offer them strategically. "Do you want red bike or blue bike" is a terrific choice to offer. "Do you want a bike or a Mercedes?" not so much. I think it's good for kids to know that they just don't have a choice on some issues. "It's time for bed. Do you want to read Make Way for Ducklings, or Winnie the POoh?" Also I do believe in a judicious amount of "because I'm the mommy, that's why." and later on when they're more prone to logic and argumentation (I have a budding lawyer in the house) there's "this is my house, and there are certain things we will do. When you are grown up and live in your own house, you can choose to do it differently." Basic rules of respect and table manners fall under this category. "Because you want your friends to think you are a nice boy when you eat at their house. You want to eat politely so they'll invite you back again." For 8 year olds. Two year olds, not appropriate. Choices – well you offer them strategically. “Do you want red bike or blue bike” is a terrific choice to offer. “Do you want a bike or a Mercedes?” not so much. I think it’s good for kids to know that they just don’t have a choice on some issues.

“It’s time for bed. Do you want to read Make Way for Ducklings, or Winnie the POoh?”

Also I do believe in a judicious amount of “because I’m the mommy, that’s why.” and later on when they’re more prone to logic and argumentation (I have a budding lawyer in the house) there’s “this is my house, and there are certain things we will do. When you are grown up and live in your own house, you can choose to do it differently.” Basic rules of respect and table manners fall under this category.

“Because you want your friends to think you are a nice boy when you eat at their house. You want to eat politely so they’ll invite you back again.” For 8 year olds. Two year olds, not appropriate.

]]> By: Nana http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2750 Nana Sat, 18 Jul 2009 01:21:41 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2750 Glory be! This woman is worth her weight in gold. I hope it all works out. The "choices" thing is my fault. Did you get a red bike or a blue bike? I can't remember. There is no shame in admitting you are faliable. Admitting that only proves how strong you are! Glory be! This woman is worth her weight in gold. I hope it all works out.

The “choices” thing is my fault. Did you get a red bike or a blue bike? I can’t remember.

There is no shame in admitting you are faliable. Admitting that only proves how strong you are!

]]> By: Lisa http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2748 Lisa Sat, 18 Jul 2009 00:57:56 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2748 OMG. Thank you. I tried sitting in the room tonight. Not talking to DS or even looking at him (Actually was listening to my ipod so I would be as bothered by the screaming) and he cried/fussed for 20 minutes before going to sleep. As opposed to an hour of screaming before one of us caved or an hour rocking/soothing/cajoling. It's only one day but... OMG. Thank you. I tried sitting in the room tonight. Not talking to DS or even looking at him (Actually was listening to my ipod so I would be as bothered by the screaming) and he cried/fussed for 20 minutes before going to sleep. As opposed to an hour of screaming before one of us caved or an hour rocking/soothing/cajoling. It’s only one day but…

]]> By: Heather http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2745 Heather Fri, 17 Jul 2009 19:40:13 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2745 I am glad that you have found a solution. I hope things continue to go well. No parent is perfect even though we would all like to be. Good Luck. I am glad that you have found a solution. I hope things continue to go well. No parent is perfect even though we would all like to be. Good Luck.

]]> By: Your Baby Can Read TV http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2743 Your Baby Can Read TV Fri, 17 Jul 2009 11:55:14 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2743 I agree with Eva, this must have been a difficult post for you to write and kudos for having the guts to talk about this on your blog and share it with us. To be honest, I agree with your consultant. It's not a good idea to give your children so much choice, while parents don't know everything and often make mistakes, I do believe that parents are in a much better position. I am not for one moment suggesting that parents should override anything and everything their kids want but be judicious in not giving in to the child's every whim and fancy and like everything else in life strike a balance. Good luck and again thanks for talking about this. I agree with Eva, this must have been a difficult post for you to write and kudos for having the guts to talk about this on your blog and share it with us.

To be honest, I agree with your consultant. It’s not a good idea to give your children so much choice, while parents don’t know everything and often make mistakes, I do believe that parents are in a much better position. I am not for one moment suggesting that parents should override anything and everything their kids want but be judicious in not giving in to the child’s every whim and fancy and like everything else in life strike a balance.

Good luck and again thanks for talking about this.

]]> By: eva http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2741 eva Fri, 17 Jul 2009 05:46:30 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2741 That must have been a difficult post to write. Admitting one was "wrong" or maybe "could have done things differently" is sucky, but how wonderful that you've gotten such thorough advice and support. I'd always read about Jonah's choices with awe, because Megan really is so so very far behind that...it NEVER occurred to me that this could be stressful for him or that he could be responding to respond. Sorry you had to learn this one the hard way, but it's definitely been instructive to me, even though we have totally different kids! Let us know how the next week or so goes and enjoy your nights out:) <em>eva's last blog post..<a href='http://glickers.blogspot.com/2009/07/1-week-later.html' rel="nofollow">1 Week Later</a></em> That must have been a difficult post to write. Admitting one was “wrong” or maybe “could have done things differently” is sucky, but how wonderful that you’ve gotten such thorough advice and support.

I’d always read about Jonah’s choices with awe, because Megan really is so so very far behind that…it NEVER occurred to me that this could be stressful for him or that he could be responding to respond. Sorry you had to learn this one the hard way, but it’s definitely been instructive to me, even though we have totally different kids!

Let us know how the next week or so goes and enjoy your nights out:)

eva’s last blog post..1 Week Later

]]> By: Leila Abu-Saba http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2739 Leila Abu-Saba Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:49:16 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2739 Yes, piercing insight: parenthood makes us confront ourselves even more than intimate relationship does. I have probably cleaned up my act in six different ways that I wasn't willing to before, just because of those parenting challenges. You know, being consistent, polite, kindly and patient... ak. <em>Leila Abu-Saba's last blog post..<a href='http://bedouina.typepad.com/doves_eye/2009/06/qifa-nabki-suggests-iran-coverage.html' rel="nofollow">Qifa Nabki Suggests: Iran coverage</a></em> Yes, piercing insight: parenthood makes us confront ourselves even more than intimate relationship does. I have probably cleaned up my act in six different ways that I wasn’t willing to before, just because of those parenting challenges. You know, being consistent, polite, kindly and patient… ak.

Leila Abu-Saba’s last blog post..Qifa Nabki Suggests: Iran coverage

]]> By: mayberry http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/comment-page-1/#comment-2735 mayberry Thu, 16 Jul 2009 14:45:06 +0000 http://thecalmbeforethestork.com/2009/07/15/the-sleep-consultant-aka-in-which-my-ego-is-bruised-for-the-betterment-of-sleep-kind/#comment-2735 Oh, I really hope this continues to work so well -- it sounds like money WELL spent. Oh, I really hope this continues to work so well — it sounds like money WELL spent.

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